Picture a child coming home from school with a picture they've worked their imagination into—a purple elephant with six legs and a top hat. Instead of encouragement or interest, they receive confusion or criticism: "Why is it purple?" "Elephants don't look like that." The child's enthusiasm fades. Their voice, once vibrant and eager to tell a creative story, goes silent. At that moment, the narrow but crucial emotional door is about to shut.
In cultures where judgement takes the place of openness, communication not only suffers but fails to emerge. Children need stable, secure environments in which to test and share their thoughts, feelings, and fantasy ideas. When adults consistently answer with correction, dismissal, or ridicule, children start to understand that silence is more secure than expression. This is not only a parenting error; it can have long-term effects on a child's psychological development.
The difference between guidance and judgement
Let’s not confuse guidance with judgement. Telling a child that it’s unsafe to put Lego in their nose is guidance. Telling them they’re “ridiculous” for crying because their biscuit broke in half—that’s judgement. And those judgements pile up like a heap of unwashed socks. Over time, the child internalises a message: “My feelings aren’t valid. My ideas aren’t good enough. I’m not good enough.” Cue anxiety, low self-esteem, and emotional constipation.
Stressed or over-critical environments can be problematic for kids
This emotional shutdown isn't just frustrating—it’s clinically concerning. From a mental health point of view, children in stressed or over-critical environments are more likely to develop depression, anxiety disorders, and even behavioural problems. They can become withdrawn, excessively perfectionistic, or defiant—not because they're "bad," but because they're learning to move through a world in which telling the truth is dangerous.
Listen to them first
Communication is a two-way street, and in childhood, it begins with a single lane: expression. If that lane is constantly blocked by road signs like “Wrong!”, “Not good enough!”, or “That’s silly,” the child will stop driving altogether. Or worse, they’ll detour down roads of people-pleasing or silence that follow them into adulthood.
The solution
So, what can be done? For starters, grown-ups can get curious instead of evaluating. “Hmm, a six-legged purple elephant? That’s brilliant! What’s his name?” opens more doors than “That’s not realistic.” Validate feelings, even when they’re inconvenient. Acknowledge the tough stuff with phrases like “I see you’re upset” instead of “Stop overreacting.”
In the end, a child's mental well-being flourishes in spaces that encourage open conversation, not discourage it. And although none of us can be perfect listeners every time, even brief moments of acceptance and understanding can set the stage for lifelong emotional strength.
Get Latest News Live on Times Now along with Breaking News and Top Headlines from Health and around the world.
