When you're little, the death of a grandparent can be a shattering experience. Grandparents often hold a special place in a child’s world—figures of comfort, love, and stability. Their presence can feel eternal, their affection unconditional. So when they’re suddenly gone, it can trigger confusion, fear, and a deep sense of loss.
For most children, it's their initial experience of death, and it makes space for feelings they might not yet have words to describe. The emptiness can reverberate in subtle ways—a vacant chair at Sunday dinner, no longer unexpected phone calls, no one to slip them that final biscuit. It's a loss that extends way past the instant, with a wound that might take time, attention, and support to heal properly.
How Parents Can Help
Parents, this is your cue. You just have to be there. Talk. Or don’t talk—sometimes just sitting together in quiet solidarity can work wonders.
Let kids feel what they feel. Resist the urge to plaster over their emotions with a “They’re in a better place now.” Instead, invite stories. “Remember when Grandma burnt the biscuits and blamed the oven?” These memories are like emotional bubble wrap—soft and oddly comforting.
Let them create something. A drawing, a little photo book, even a small space dedicated to Grandpa in their bedroom filled with old coins or fishing lures. Giving them a tangible way to honour their grandparent turns grief into a form of connection rather than just loss.
Also, model your own feelings. Cry in front of them. Say you miss them too. You're not being weak—you're showing that it's OK to mourn, to remember, and to ache. That emotions aren’t embarrassing; they’re human.
Don’t rush it. Kids don’t grieve on a schedule, and neither should they be expected to "move on" by next Tuesday. The love they had doesn’t disappear, and neither does the loss. But with a bit of honesty, a lot of patience, and the occasional cuddle-and-crumpet session, kids can learn that while people may leave us, the love and memories don’t.
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