If you have an only child, you may already know how challenging it can be when they display strong-willed or stubborn behaviour. Without siblings to share attention or compromise with, they may naturally expect things to go their way and may push back against limits or rules.
When there are no siblings to share responsibility with or negotiate with, only children can become particularly skilled at arguing their case. Questions like “Why?” are often repeated not just out of curiosity but as a way to challenge decisions. Setting boundaries such as limiting screen time or encouraging healthy eating can sometimes feel like engaging in a lengthy debate.
Here is your mental health guide for managing this sweet little chaos:
1. Prioritise What Matters
Not every hill needs to be climbed. Decide what actually matters, like bedtime, safety, and basic hygiene. If they want to wear a Batman cape to the supermarket or insist on mismatched socks, let it go.
2. Reflect on Your Own Reactions
Often, strong-willed kids are born to equally strong-willed parents. Instead of turning it into a daily power struggle, model calm firmness. You are the adult; remind yourself of that when you find yourself debating bedtime every day.
3. Offer Choices to Encourage Cooperation
Stubborn kids hate being told what to do, but they love feeling in control. Instead of “Eat your carrots,” try “Do you want to eat your carrots before or after the rice?” They choose. You win.
4. Find Humour in Everyday Moments
Sometimes, the absurdity of it all is the only thing keeping you afloat. Is your child screaming because their banana broke in half? Stubborn children provide endless material for future anecdotes, so cherish them.
5. Take Breaks When Needed
It is not just kids who need breaks. When your nerves are fraying, take five. Deep breaths. Go outside. Lock yourself in the bathroom and meditate. Your mental health matters just as much as theirs.
6. Strengthen Your Emotional Bond
Despite the defiance, only children can be fiercely loving, surprisingly wise, and deeply attached to you. Lean into that bond. Connect through play, books, or shared snacks. The more emotionally secure they feel, the less they will need to test every boundary.
