It is something most of us have experienced, whether we admit it or not. You are lying in bed, long past the time meant to sleep, endlessly scrolling through Instagram, looking at the pictures of friends on beach holidays, colleagues announcing promotions, and influencers completing yet another fitness challenge. You do not feel outright sad, but there is a growing unease, a feeling suggesting you are not doing enough. This is FOMO. And today, it is not just a passing feeling; it is a persistent habit with real mental health consequences, including anxiety, burnout, and diminished self-worth.
“The fear of missing out used to be an occasional pang,” says Dr. Parth Nagda, Consultant Psychiatrist at Kokilaben Dhirubhai Ambani Hospital, Navi Mumbai. “But now, it has evolved into a chronic behavioural loop for many people.” Thanks to endless notifications, reels, invites, and filtered success stories, FOMO is not just a feeling; it has become a habit, hardwired into our daily routine.
The Evolution of a Modern Anxiety
FOMO starts innocently enough: a skipped party, a sold-out gig, a Bali trip that did not include you. But according to Dr. Nagda, our brains are wired to treat this as a threat. “Back in the day, being excluded from the tribe was a survival risk. Now, social media triggers that same response. We feel unsafe or ‘less than’ when we are not included, even virtually.”
That threat-response loop kicks in every time we check our phones, looking for proof that we are not missing out. The result? Overcommitting to plans we do not enjoy, saying yes to everything, and feeling drained and disconnected anyway.
Psychologist Muskan Marwah from Mpower, Aditya Birla Education Trust, takes it further quoting Theodore Roosevelt: "Comparison is the thief of joy." She adds that we are constantly exposed to curated highlights, not reality. And that distortion is silently shaping how we see ourselves.
Your Phone Might Be the Problem and the Addiction
Many of us are addicted to being online. That reflexive checking, the need to know what everyone else is doing, and the guilt of unplugging are all red flags. “This addiction fragments our attention,” says Marwah. “We are physically present but mentally checking notifications. It is no surprise relationships suffer, emotions stay unprocessed, and true rest becomes rare.”
It is not just the emotional fallout either. The mental health consequences like low self-esteem, rising anxiety, and digital fatigue, can quietly turn into depression. “The pressure to be constantly available, whether to a Slack ping or a group chat, has led to a collapse of personal space,” Marwah says.
So How Do You Exit the Loop?
Step one is catching yourself in the act. Literally. “Recognise that FOMO is a feeling, not a fact,” Dr. Nagda advises. “Just because you feel left out doesn’t mean you are.” After that, here is your digital detox starter kit:
- Time your scrolls: “Set hours for social media, or use apps that block access after a point,” says Dr. Nagda. Out of sight, out of spiral.
- Value check: Make a joy list. “What genuinely makes you feel good? Focus on those, not what looks good on the ‘gram,” he adds.
- Journal your journey: Writing down personal goals shifts the spotlight from others’ achievements to your own.
- Try gratitude (yes, again): “Three things a day,” suggests Dr. Nagda. “Gratitude rewires the brain to focus on abundance, not absence.”
- Practise stillness: Whether it is five minutes of mindful breathing or a longer meditation sesh, quiet time is non-negotiable.
